Highlands Church hosts transgender performer, Q&A to help people understand trans experience - 9News

Mr. PetrovSo this crossed my desk earlier: Highlands Church hosts transgender performer, Q&A to help people understand trans experience. What's your first instinct on it?

ZoeMy gut says we should stop asking why a church feels weird about hosting a trans person and start asking why we're surprised they'd want a Q&A format at all. It’s basically admitting upfront that half the congregation will walk in confused, so building in time to talk through it is smarter than pretending everyone’s already onboard.

Mr. PetrovA Q&A at a church service is a nice setup, but back when my mother learned English she didn’t ask her coworkers questions—she listened until it made sense to her. Pretending confusion can be fixed in twenty minutes is a bit like thinking a broken tooth gets better because you explained how it broke.

ZoeYour mom listening patiently doesn't tell me anything about whether the folks at Highlands Church are actually going to learn anything useful from a live Q&A. The whole point of putting a microphone in front of a performer is to give people a chance to hear answers directly, not to wait around for clarity that might take years to arrive. I’d rather see if the crowd asks good questions than judge the format based on some old anecdote.

Mr. PetrovPicture a couple who sat down together after their wedding night and spent three hours talking through expectations without interrupting each other once. That kind of slow, patient work builds understanding in ways a quick Q&A at Highlands Church probably won't match. People don't change their minds about deep things just because someone held up a microphone during Sunday service.

ZoePicture someone at Highlands Church who walks out still convinced trans people are a passing phase, simply because no one asked a hard enough question to force that belief into the light. The Q&A isn't meant to solve every doubt overnight; it’s there to catch the people who are ready to shift, whereas waiting for natural, quiet acceptance often means those moments just slip away entirely.

Mr. PetrovYou’re betting on catching the people who are “ready.” In my day, nobody waited to be ready before doing the hard work. We did it tired.

ZoeDoing the hard work while tired sounds noble, but it rarely produces the kind of public dialogue needed to shift a whole congregation’s view at Highlands Church. Sometimes you need a clear starting line to get anyone off the bench. Waiting for people to figure it out slowly usually leaves most of them standing still long after the opportunity has passed.

Mr. PetrovCatching the people who are ready makes sense, since nobody changes a mind that is actively bracing for impact. But I worry that a live Q&A at Highlands Church turns uncertainty into performance, where people rehearse polite answers instead of working through the real discomfort alone. Understanding takes silence too, not just a microphone pointed at the awkward parts.

ZoeTreating silence as the cure-all is like telling a car owner to meditate with the engine instead of pulling over to check the oil pressure. At Highlands Church, people aren't hiding in their living rooms processing a crisis; they're sitting in pews watching a specific event unfold. Skipping the public conversation just assumes the awkwardness will resolve itself, which is a bet you lose more often than you win.

Mr. PetrovThink about the parents in the back row who drove forty minutes to Highlands Church specifically to avoid being questioned. For them, that public Q&A isn't a bridge to understanding; it's a spotlight on the exact fear they left home trying to escape, turning a private struggle into a community spectacle.

ZoeDriving forty minutes to avoid a question doesn’t mean the question disappears when you get home. It just means nobody helped them answer it.

Mr. PetrovMy mother didn't need a church program to learn how to handle her own doubts. She carried them across an ocean and figured out how to breathe while holding a suitcase full of unfamiliar clothes. Sometimes letting people sit with the discomfort is the only thing that actually teaches them to carry it later.

ZoeYour mom crossing an ocean proves she could endure hardship, not that she had anywhere to go with her questions once the boat docked. At Highlands Church, the Q&A gives those people a place to drop the weight instead of carrying it until it breaks them. Endurance without support isn't wisdom, it's just exhaustion with better lighting.

Mr. PetrovCarrying doubt without a map is brutal, but having someone hand you the right answer on a stage can make you forget how to find your own. Your mom learned to breathe because there was no one else to do it for her; give people a lifeline too early and some never learn to swim. The Q&A might feel like help now, but I’d rather trust the slow ache that builds character over the quick fix that lets everyone sleep easy tonight.

ZoeLearning to swim matters less when half the congregation is drowning in the shallow end right now. A Q&A isn't a permanent crutch; it's a first aid kit you use before the water recedes. You can always teach deeper strokes tomorrow, but you can't un-drown someone today.

Mr. PetrovFirst aid kits don't build the lungs needed to survive the next storm, yet we act surprised when people wash ashore unable to stand on their own. If the Q&A at Highlands Church leaves anyone still asking why the water feels so cold, then we haven't taught survival, just delayed the panic.