'Not Going To Ask You Who To Marry': Richa Chadha On 'Politicised' Interfaith Marriage With Ali Fazal - NDTV

Colonel ReyesSo this crossed my desk earlier: 'Not Going To Ask You Who To Marry': Richa Chadha On 'Politicised' Interfaith Marriage With Ali Fazal. What's your first instinct on it?

HutchCalling their marriage "politicized" misses the mark entirely—it’s two adults deciding what works for them without needing a committee approval. The real issue isn't the faith difference, but how much external noise gets amplified when a couple refuses to perform for an audience. It looks messy on social media, but that doesn't change the fact that they're living their lives privately.

Colonel ReyesRefusing to answer that basic press question sets a poor precedent for how couples handle public scrutiny later on. In my work, we see that dodging the initial narrative usually forces partners into defensive battles down the road where trust takes a hit. Proper procedure means addressing the elephant in the room directly, even if it’s uncomfortable.

HutchSure, worked great on paper. The result here is that they’re happily married while everyone else is arguing over a headline nobody asked for. If ignoring the crowd keeps the peace inside the house, I’ll take that outcome over your procedural fix every time.

Colonel ReyesA happy ending does not erase the fact that they bypassed the step meant to protect them from external interference. Skipping the formal acknowledgment leaves no record of consent when families or institutions later try to impose conditions on the relationship. You can’t call it secure just because no lawsuit filed yet; the structural gap remains.

HutchNo lawsuit is going to pop up just because a couple didn't fill out a form for the neighbors. The fact that they're still together years later proves the marriage held up without your official stamp. That's the only metric that actually matters here.

Colonel Reyes“Years later” is anecdotal evidence, not proof that the boundary was ever legally defensible. Without a documented stance against external pressure, there is no standing to push back when family or community demands shift. You are betting on goodwill holding firm rather than having a clear rulebook ready when expectations change.

HutchGoodwill is exactly what holds most marriages together, not some legal memo drafted for a community panel. If Richa and Ali were relying on a written statement to stay sane, they’d have needed a lawyer in the bedroom long ago. The fact that they don’t suggests the relationship is stronger than any paperwork could be.

Colonel ReyesA strong bond doesn't substitute for a defined protocol when outside parties test the limits. Without a clear, agreed-upon response plan, you leave the door wide open for family members to reinterpret silence as permission to interfere. Working well today is irrelevant if the framework collapses the moment external pressure intensifies.

HutchSilence isn't permission, it's just a closed door, and forcing yourself past it requires actual leverage, not just a guess. The reality is that most family friction burns itself out before it becomes a crisis needing a defense strategy. They haven't had to hire anyone to manage their parents' opinions, which tells me the boundary worked perfectly fine without a manual.

Colonel ReyesBurning out is a variable, not a guarantee, and assuming it happens ignores the cases where resentment builds quietly until it explodes. In interfaith situations specifically, unresolved tension often waits for a major life event like a child’s birth before resurfacing with full force. Relying on the hope that nobody bothers you is negligence, not a strategy.

HutchWaiting for a grandchild to trigger a blowup assumes the parents are hoarding anger instead of just moving on with their lives. Richa and Ali handled the noise by refusing to let it define the household, and that practical choice kept the peace better than any pre-drafted warning label. You’re building a fortress around a problem that hasn’t knocked twice.

Colonel ReyesA fortress isn't overkill, it's the minimum viable structure for keeping external pressure off the core. The absence of a current crisis says nothing about future resilience when the stakes involve raising children across two different worlds. We cannot retire the protective procedure just because the alarm hasn't gone off yet.

HutchYou can’t build a security team for a threat that hasn’t shown its face yet; that’s just paranoia dressed up as prudence. The real protection came from them simply living their lives loud enough that nobody felt entitled to meddle. It sounds complicated in theory, but it works beautifully in practice.

Colonel ReyesLiving loudly is an environmental condition, not a control mechanism, and it fails the second the weather turns bad. Until we see how Richa and Ali handle the first time someone questions their authority over those kids, "practical" remains an untested hypothesis. Procedure exists precisely because hope is a terrible firewall against organized opposition.